Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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