So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
