Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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