But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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