Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
