Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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