He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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