omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
