Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
