why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
