I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
