i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Congratulations! We have a period
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
