ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
