For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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