remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
