I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
