needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
