The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
