I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Randomize
