Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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