Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Let's paint friendship bongs
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
