Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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