even my farts smell like vagina
so let's talk penis.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
