And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
