I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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