please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
