I wanna bring you to show and tell
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Floor bacon is actually really good
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
