I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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