please come you make the beer taste better
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
