yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
