I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You need Xanax blowdarts
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
