I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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