i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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