Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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