there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
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