Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
