Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
