I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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