You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
