Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
