my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
