I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
