Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
