just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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