Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
