and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
