he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
