I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
