break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
