We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
