one two three fourrrrnication!
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
