Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
