last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
