Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
