At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
